it looks good but boring…is it?

This movie follows Alexander Supertramp through and adventure that takes him from college in Atlanta to a hunting ground in Alaska.  Unlike the typical rich kid with rich kid hatred of rich mom and dad Alex is determined to live his own life.  After giving his life savings (24k, not bad after paying for college) to charity and burning all his id’s he set out on the road.  There are many moments in this movie that make you want to just that.  This move is very long but is filled with great music by Eddie Vedder and Ang Lee quality visuals.  The natural arch of Alex’s life allows for a true story that has impact with needless hollywood additions.  Much like The Last King of Scotland a naturally compelling true story can carry a movie past the three star threshold.  However,  the limits of working in a true story usually prevents a four star review without and Oscar worthy performance.  I felt everyone acted very well but the Hal Holbrook nomiation seems a stretch to reconize this film.  Set aside the marathon run time and meet this character and his adventure.

- Pete

Wiener = funny? who knew?

Going into this movie I told Dennis I felt that it was going to be about average. I did not have faith that this comedy team could follow up its masterpiece SuperBad in any meaningful way. Well this was no SuperBad but it was no Mr. Deeds either. This movie had me laughing from its first shocking scene until its last once again shocking scene. I like that this crew has change who is the lead from film to film which is give the movies a freshness that was lost by Ben Stiller and Adam Sandler. Like any Hollywood comedy the plots requires you to accept a few things that are less than realistic but they don’t hurt the laughs in anyway. I enjoyed the New Boyfriend character very much even though I Had hated him from the ads. I like that Gross out humor is taking a backseat to awkward moment comedy. I like to credit Ricky Gervais with that but I am sure Steve Carrell who is its greatest practitioner has really brought it mainstream. This exceeded my low expectations and should be seen. I hate comedy audiences so if you can wait watch it on DVD. Most people laugh at the dumbest times and miss the best jokes and for that I hate them.

- Pete

Make sure you see this

It was a few months ago when I saw the trailer for this movie.  It seemed interesting enough but for some reason I decided it was going to be great.  I knew when I entered the budget ($5) theater that usually houses the “also rans” of the film world that I was likely going to be disappointed.  The presence of the midget from “The Station Agent” gave me the uneasy feeling that this was going to be just an average European crime tale like The Bank Job.  Instead from almost frame one you knew two very important things.  First you were watching Colin Farrell’s only truly great performance and it was coming in a movie different from any you have ever seen.  Over the run time of this movie you are exposed to the masterful combination comedy, action, suspense, and drama that should (but won’t) be a darling of awards and film lovers.  The story takes the basic “crime gone wrong” plot and makes it one of the most well rounded intelligent turns in memory.  I don’t own Dvds but will buy this one.  I hope it finds an audience or at least leads to bigger and better things for its maker.

- Pete

Street Kings - I’m okay with Keanu as a tough cop.  For some it’s a tough sell, but i kinda like the casting.  And if he sucks, who cares?  We have Rt3 favorites Chris Evans and Forrest “crazy eyez” Whitacker around to pick up the slack.  This flick is from the guy that wrote Training “KING KONG AIN’T GOT NUTTIN’ ON ME!” Day and the movie that only Pete and i seem to like, Harsh Times.  See it (and Harsh Times too, Bale rules in it) - Rt3 Buzz: 8/10

Prom Night - Was the original even any good? - Rt3 Buzz: 1/10

Chaos Theory - Sadly the latest Ryan Reynolds flick is in limited release and nowhere near me.  I want to see this one extra bad because it has my favorite version of Van Wilder in it, the bearded version.  Nice. - Rt3 Buzz: 8/10

70’s throwback flick

I like England. Well at least on the big screen. This movie tries to capture the event surrounding a real bank robbery in London which happened in the sixties or anytime after that. I am not sure if Jason Statham makes every movie feel like Snatch or if all criminals in the UK are cartoon like thugs that are always in some sort of funny pickle that needs sort’n out. Anyway this caper was no different. The movie is full of characters that are so outlandish that this being a true story is tough to believe. Among a porn star, ex super model, and a real Greek (no to be confused with the fake kind I am) there was Michael X. Oh this guy was so worthless in the movie but will serve as a one liner for Dee and I for some time to come. He was to Malcolm X what Dana Carvey was to George Bush. Only thing is this Michael X was not a comedian. If the movie was true than it looks like Michael kicked it up a notch and became a pretty ruthless d-bag. Back to the film. Overall I always enjoy these UK crime stories they have fun characters and are much better than movies like The Italian Job. I can only judge them agaist each other so If Snatch is three stars this is two. I want Michael Cain in one of these movies. If he has been just point me in the right direction.

Misc:

I wonder if Michael X considered going by Michael Luther King Jr “I have a vision that comes to me at night that someday everyone will be treated about the same”

- Pete

____

Dee’s 2¢ - Snatch is at least 3.5 stars and Bank Job is 2.5 stars.  It could have been 3 if it was just a bit less boring.  Statham rules and makes me proud to be baldish.

(Editors Note: I can only assume that Diana was drunk while watching this movie)

(Editors Note: I can only assume that Diana was drunk while watching this movie)

Premise:
Dave Seville is a struggling songwriter who can’t make it in Hollywood…that is, until 3 singing chipmunks show up at his front door.

Reality:
Ok. This movie is SO cute. Unlike most people, I had pretty high expectations because the trailer never failed to make me laugh. I love both Jason Lee and David Cross, but truly my favourite thing about this movie were the adorable, high-pitched singing chipmunks who love video games, toys, junk food, and cuddling. Lee is a little dry, but Dave Seville was always that uptight, grown-up type so it fit and he played the character well. Cross plays a money-loving record label guy who offers dark sarcasm that will leave Cross fans content that he didn’t soften up too much in this movie. The chipmunks are eccentric! They love Christmas time, coloring, getting stuck inside of vacuums, and ego waffles. What’’s not to love about that? Give it a chance. Let the new (and definitely improved) Alvin, Simon, and Theodore bring you back to childhood.

Sidenotes:
–Justin Long does the voice of Alvin. But I have to ask why, when…the voices are messed with to them sound super, chipmunk high.

–My dog accidentally kills chipmunks and then feels bad and cries about it for the rest of the day.

HuzzaH - Diana

Doomsday - If Mad Max and Waterworld had a baby is this what it’d look like? Probably if they smoked while pregnant; this thing looks like a mess. I know i’ll put this thing on the Netflix fast-track though, it’s made for me to see on DVD and…who knows…maybe it’ll be good? It’s made by the guy who did Dog Soldiers and The Descent, two very watchable flicks. - Rt3 Buzz: 5/10

Horton hears a Who! - Not for me, but it’s getting good reviews so far. Having read this book about 800 times since my son was born the only thing i want Horton to hear is the sound of a train right before it flattens him. - Rt3 Buzz: 0/10

Funny Games - This looks like the break-in/rape/singing in the rain scene from A Clockwork Orange, but stretched for an entire movie. I like the cast (Michael Pitt, Naomi Watts, Tim Roth) and it looks interestingly bizarre. - Rt3 Buzz: 8/10

rimjob

Its deal - ABA team Owner/Coach/Player Will Ferrell has to fight to get his team into the NBA

My Deal - Simply put, this is a step below Anchorman and Talladega Nights but step above Blades of Glory. Ferrell’s just a funny motherf*cker, that guy delivers lines that would sound painfully unfunny and forced our of anyone else’s mouth and makes them hilarious (”he’s from some place called Lithuania and is ugly as shit…”). These days a B-level effort from Will is second to only the Apatow crew and Ferrell’s own movies he made with Adam McKay in the comedy department.

I think the biggest disappointment for me was that Woody Harrelson didn’t really have anything funny to do or day, he was pretty much the straight-man. Seems like a missed oportunity to me, Woody’s a funny dude and teaming him with Will feels like it should have been pure gold (kinda like when Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayak teamed up for Banditas, but then it was utterly terrible and even worse PG-13).

If you like Ferrell you’ll like this, if not you’ll hate it. I think if Will and Jack Black made a movie together it’d divide the country faster than any Presidential candidate, there is no middle with those guys.

Misc Thoughts

- Dee

this gimmick blew. eight times.

This movie will bother most people with its little gimmick. The movie re-hashes 20 or so minutes about 8 different ways. Also each new layer added so little that you feel as though you know every detail already. There are a few cool scenes but don’t worry if you miss them since they come back over and over again. The cast was full of RT3 favorites like Hurt, Quaid, Whitaker, and Jack from Lost but they are not enough to carry the day. This movie played like an episode of any 24-esque TV show. I guess I liked the people in this movie enough to give two stars even if I would not recommend anyone else watching this. Does it seem like terrorist are the only bad guys left? That might be my favorite part of No Country For Old Men, final a bad guy that has more to him than being from the Middle East.

- Pete 

Portman’s magic place 

Molly Mahoney (Portman) plays a short-haired, magic-believing toy store worker who inherits Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium from Mr. Magorium (Hoffman). Her job is to keep the emporium’s magic alive.

In a New York-looking city children from all over gather inside of a magical toy store where the dolls and games have lives and spirits of their own. The owner, 243-year-old Mr. Magorium, has decided that he has lived long enough and that it is time for him to “move on,” however the lovely store worker, Molly, is very unfavorable of this voluntary death–nor does she want the store, which he is so eager to hand over to her. A bunch of things happen, people’s faith in magic are tested, and the ending is really colorful.

Hoffman is one of those actors that is very good at embracing characters; I have decided that the character of Mr. Magorium (being slightly reminiscent of the fun-loving Bernie Focker) is one of my new favorites. He’s quirky and cute and adds the perfect amount of [innocent] comedy to make it bearable for adults. Portman kind of looks like a little boy, but that girl can wear a garbage bag and a wig made me of brillo pads and poop and still manage to look better than most of today’s hollywood celebrities. And for me, seeing her in a kid’s movie, validates that she can truly take on any role because she’s already done everything else. Jason Bateman, who is also featured in this sugar-spun tale as a nonbeliever of magic, is slowly becoming one of my favorites too. I really dig on his unconventional humor.

Huzzah, Teen Wolf II, Huzzah - Diana

sidenotes:
–I barely remember the music in the movie, which means it should have been better

–I really wicked heart natalie portman. she’s my new johnny depp.

Semi-Pro - I have high high hopes for this, and the fact that it’s carrying an R-rating only inflates my expectations further.  Anchorman and Talladega Nights are two of my all-time favorite comedies, and even though this isn’t from the same team (though the upcoming Step Brothers is) it still looks like it could hit the mark.  Having Woody Harrelson doesn’t hurt either.  Please Lord God, don’t let this movie suck like Blades of Glory. - Rt3 Buzz: 9/10

Penelope - Christina Ricci’s born with a pig nose and sets out to find true love.  Something tells me she does…unless she was born with a sheep’s vagina too. - Rt3 Buzz: 3/10

The Other Boleyn Girl - This is pretty amazing, a movie where the three leads are three actors that like a lot (Portman, Johansson & Bana) and yet i have not an ounce of interest in seeing it.  In related news, i started watching the showtime series The Tudors via Netflix and Ann Boleyn is a key figure.  Half-way through the first season, very good so far. - Rt3 Buzz: 2/10

Honey, i’m home

Its deal - A dirty bomb goes off in LA and after a husband seals up his home his infected wife shows up…RIGHT AT HIS DOOR. What will he do?

My deal - I watched the trailer for this movie fooorreeeevvvveeeerrrr ago and waited and waited for it to hit the theaters. Turns out it was pretty much sent straight to DVD with a very small theatrical run and after watching it i can kinda see why. This certainly isn’t a bad movie, but i can see how the powers-that-be could have had trouble nailing down a way to market and promote it. It’s very grim and the subject matter is the type that tends to rile up the annoying and fragile people out there.

Like Wendy’s new Baconator, I loved the idea but only liked the product. The problem for me was that there was just not enough tension, stress and dread about what was going on. I mean think about it, you city is in complete panic, there’s chaos everywhere, poisonous shit is flying through the air, police and Army are taking over, and on top of everything you had to seal your wife outside your home because she’s going to die and if you let her in she’ll just infect you too. Sounds pretty rough, doesn’t it? Well you just don’t get as strong of an impact as i think there should have been, a problem that i’d say lies with the director, the actors seemed competent. It’s not a bad directing job, but if placed in the hands of a more experienced director this could have been a tough movie to feel comfortable watching (in a good way).

Overall i’d recommend this as others might not have the same problem i had and like it just that much more.

Misc Thoughts

- Dee

The Sarah Silverman “i’m f*cking Matt Damon” video from a couple weeks ago was great, and yesterday the rebuttal from Jimmy Kimmel “i’m f*cking Ben Affleck” was a hilarious follow up (Brad Pitt in full FedEx delivery guy gear? good stuff). Now we have another take on it, this one from a combination of the Kevin Smith and Judd Apatow crews filmed on the set of Smith’s next movie. Click the banner below for a very NSFW “i’m f*cking Seth Rogan”

These have all been very good so far but i just hope they don’t beat this idea into the f*cking ground. Unless Denzel makes a version called “i’m f*cking Dakota Fanning” i think we should let this idea go out on a high, like George Costanza.

Here we are, the latest running diary. I can’t tell if this show will be better than usual due to the lack of writer preparation so we might get some edgier or off-the-cuff material or utterly unbearable since it’s an election year. We’ll see, but i’m sure we’ll get more political jazz than usual. Maybe if i’m lucky George Clooney will tell me how to vote; he’s good looking so he must know.

• if you want to ad a comment or just chime in with a thought i’m on AOL IM at Duffman1978

7:09 - Barbara Walters special is on. I hate how she speaks, but gotta hand it to the old bag, she’s been doing this forever and people still care (for some reason). Hannah Montana is Billy Ray Cirus’ daughter? I think that i’m proud for not knowing that, but also glad that now i do. Approx 90min to showtime, i won’t post again until the show begins.

8:27 - Regis is Regis’ing around, we’re moments away from what will surely be a breathtaking opening number/monologue *sigh*

8:30 - strap it on yourself in, it’s starting…

8:32 - Jon Steward just took the stage and i already wish he Stephen Colbert. Writers strike jokes in 3…2…1….

8:36 - right on cue. Pretty safe jokes so far, but not bad ones. First Hillary joke of the night in the books, glad we got that our of the way.

8:39 - Stewart took quite a stance and bashed Norbit, how ballsy. Norbit sucks everyone, oh no!

8:40 - First Iraq joke recorded. took long enough. Obama next?

8:41 - According to John Stewart using a method kids have used since 1970, my porn name is Kacey Richardson. “i’d f*ck me”

8:42 - Jennifer Garner does nothing for me. Why is her head always tilted tonight? Anyway, she’s out to do best costume and i’ll go with…Atonement here edging Elizabeth.

8:44 - 0-1. oh well, now that Elizabeth won it seems obvious. They seemed to have unwrapped a mummy and tossed a wig & glasses on it to accept the award. Sexy.

8:48 - By the way, i’m typing all this without the use of my left middle finger (easily my favorite middle finger), i broke it the other night playing basketball. I’m athletic. CLOONEY IS OUT! *swoon* Salt’n Pepa, baby. *fart*

8:49 - Hey look, it’s our first “i don’t give a shit” segment of the night. 80 Years of Oscar video montage (insert the South Park “montage” song here please).

8:52 - That last segment reminded me that we should be expecting some Heath Ledger stuff tonight. Heath is dead but Barbara Walters will live forever. Anne “see my boobies in Havoc” Hathaway and Steve Carrell are out to present for best animated feature. The Disney rat movie will win, we all know that right?

8:56 - 1-1, but that last one was a gimmie. Cartoon guy’s getting the “wrap it up, bitch”. Speaking of bitch, Katherine “f*ck Knocked Up” Heigl is out looking like she burnt parts of her face with makeup. Oh, and ironically she’s presenting for makup. Total shot in the dark for me here, i’ll go with Pirates just because of my Depp love. Nope. 1-2 now, but that one shouldn’t count right? eff this dumb award, this should be given behind the scene.

9:01 - First non-commercial bathroom break of the night, a musical performance. Oh, it’s the Amy Adams song from Enchanted. She’s cute, i’ll stay for this. She got jobbed when she didn’t win for Junebug the other year, she was excellent in it. Is she really singing this or faking? Just because it has to be said…”GINGER!”

9:04 - It’s a commercial, i just finished a Mountain Dew and i have to piss like a 9 but i’m somehow still too lazy to get up. Hey, see that Michael Bay FIOS commercial? That was pretty funny, “awesome!”

9:10 - Damn yo, The friggen Rock is presenting best visual award. Uh Oh, the Rock just had a joke fall flat, whoever wrote that joke is about to get his ass beat and a People’s Elbow. I’ll go with Pirates here over Transformers. Nutsack, The Golden Compass won? boooooo. 1-3. (Pete IM’d over with “at least one virgin in that crew” referring to the winners. good and accurate observation)

9:11 - Blanchet is out to present art direction, i’ll go Sweeny Todd here but i bet i get Golden Compass’d again. Remember when Blanchet showed up that year before (or after?) she had her kid and her rack couldn’t be controlled by her dress? I don’t. Hey, look, i win. 2-3.

9:14 - Finally a real award…eventually…another montage! Any time now we’ll get Best Supporting Actor which should be Javier Barden for No Country. What’s going on here? Jennifer Hudson is presenting? She so just said “suh-pudding” role, because she wants some pudding. 3-3, back to even. Barden was so ugly in that movie but he’s dead sexy in real life (or so i hear).

9:23 - Back to Javier for a minute, he really was awesome in that movie. Brilliant even. Pete put it well again, he went from “who is this asshole? to Oscar”. In other news, i still haven’t gone to the bathroom.

9:25 - Keri Russell is super pretty; i’d like to just rub her shoulders for awhile. Bad news, a song is coming. Good news, i can go #1 and easy my bladder pain. be back…

9:32 - Owen Wilson’s nose is presenting live acton short? i’m not even gonna guess this and just pretend it doesn’t exist. Instead, i’ll take this time to recommend Wes Anderson’s The Darjeeling Limited that hits DVD this tuesday and stars Owen.

9:34 - Hey everyone, it’s that part of the show when then pretend a cartoon character is on the stage presenting. i always wondered how this plays in the theater vs on tv. Seinfeld’s bee from Bee Movie is presenting aminated short, another one i’ll pretend never happened. I’ll take this time to promote the benefits of Hybrid vehicles and the evils of the oil companies…oh, out of time. F*ck it, buy an Escalade like Biggie would have wanted you to.

9:36 - Supporting Actress is up and i’m going with Blanchet because she played a man, somehow that’s gonna be an automatic win and while she’s up there she’ll mention Heath Ledger. Denzel’s sassy mamma from American Gangster is the dark horse candidate, not literally. Well, i was double wrong on this one. Michael Clayton chick on, down to 3-4.

9:44 - the wildly overrated in every way Jessica Alba is out to present the fact that she presented some awards the previous night. Know who will win a real acting award before Alba? My ballbag.

9:46 - check this out, Gary Busey being nuts on the red carpet

9:48 - Coen’s should win this adapted screenplay awards….and do. 4-4.

9:50 - It’s time for the explanation of how the awards show works and how they keep the winners secret. NO. ONE. CARES. Quick, someone pan over to Salma Hayak and try to get an upskirt, you’re losing the viewing audience!

9:53 - 3rd song time. I’d be back in the bathroom, not because i have to go, but just to avoid another sucky song, but i like this blonde chick from the show Pushing Daisies. She’s so small and cute. Me likey. If you took the two singers you could make a porno that’d sell 1000000 copies…or at least be downloaded that many times.

9:59 - getting tired already. I want a giant red bull but then i won’t sleep. Hey, have you tried the mini M&M donuts at Dunkins? Pretty sweet, get the vanilla, it contrasts with the chocolate candy for a taste sensation. God, i’m bored. zzzzzzzzzz

10:02 - Superbad guys come out and argue about who’s more Halle’ Berry like, i argue about who’d being less funny. They’re presenting for best sound, in related news the best sound i’ve made all night happened because of the massive amounts of garlic i had with dinner.

10:04 - Speaking of Superbad, that was probably the funniest movie of the year and maybe recent memory, shouldn’t that be worth something on this show? Comedy get so overlooked it’s criminal. More sound awards, more indifference from me.

10:10 - Crazy Eye Forrest is presenting best actress, i’m pulling for Ellen Paige for Juno. Wow, i have no idea who this person is that won. I’d have picked her dead last. 4-5. Someone needs to give Ellen a hug, i volunteer.

10:20 - 4th song, aka snack time. I got some sweet-ass Famous Amos cookies calling my name.

10:24 - Man, i’ve got mad crumbs all over me and the sofa. Luckily i have an infant so any crap stuck to the furniture gets automatically blamed on him. Sucker.

10:35 - a whole lot of nothing going on. ACK ACK ACK

10:42 - Award for best film in a language i can’t understand. Speaking of which, The Orphanage, which wasnt nominated was a great scary ghost story. See it. Penelope Cruz is so cute. Song 5 coming up. Kill me now.

10:50 - Enchanted stacked the deck but still lost to Once. I don’t care.

10:58 - Wow, a genuine nice classy moment. Jon had the girl won for best song come back out to say her speech since she was immediately cut off. No time for “thank yous” we’ve got commercials to play.

11:01 - Hillary Swank looks like how her name sounds. She’s human onomatopoeia.

11:04 - Here we got, the dead people montage. Heath and Jaws, coming up. Hey…did they even show Roy Scheider?? I didn’t see him. They must have (but i don’t think they did, wtf?)

11:24 - Here’s Juno’s award…i think. Original screenplay. Yes, stripper extrodinare Diablo Cody won. Good story there, an out of nowhere chick winning an Oscar for a screenplay. I dig it. I don’t dig her dress though, maybe she needs to not shop at that whore store anymore. Just a thought.

11:30 - Best Actor time, also known as Daniel Day Lewis time. Helen “worlds best over 60 yabbos” Mirren is going to present DDL with his latest award and hopefully offer him a feel. Viggo should get a special award for having to do an entire fight scene with his junk flapping around. DDL wins, like we all knew. He’s beyond good.

11:42 - i’m totally out of gas.  Let’s get going Show, i want to go to bed and dream of something less boring like gluing bindings in a library.   Best director is up, Coen’s prepare to hit the stage. The Dude abides, Coen’s win.  Another well-deserved award.

11:45 - Best picture time, let’s do this.  There is is folks.  No Country wins, good call.  Blood would have been a good choice but the movie this year will be remembered for is No Country.  I’m going to bed, i’ve been fading the past hour.  Later f*ckers.

If these losers ever played an xBox they’d spooge their pants

Its deal - Guys who don’t like to spend time with girls play a lot of Donkey Kong and think it’s really important.

My deal - **First i need to say that i’m rating this on its own merits. I’ve read about some controversy and some creative editing that misrepresent some truths (i guess that’s to be expected, i mean it is a movie about people that play God damned Donkey Kong, how much excitement can you expect?).**

I can’t imaging loving anything as much as the people in this movie love classic arcade games. If i had to liken it to something i guess it would be if my bed had a mattress made entirely of warm squishy double-D boobs and included a hidden compartment that had an endless supply of Red Bull and chicken fingers, but even then it might not be a close contest.

What’s strange about this movie (and might be because of the creative editing i mentioned) is that there’s actually a hero to root for and a villain to jeer. You’d think that you’d pretty much want to whip the back of your pimp-hand against everyone’s face in the entire movie, but that’s actually not the case. Sure, there are a few guys that you’d drag to the nearest school and stuff in a locker but the way the lines are drawn you’d think this movie was written. Toss in a little 80’s nostalgia and you’ve got one entertaining documentary.

Misc Thoughts:

- Dee